West Sussex RH20 4HL
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Our PhilosophyFor one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task. the final test and proof. the work for which all other work is merely preparation.
Rainer Maria Rilke
In Western culture the emphasis on the "nuclear family" has greatly diminished the support and holding of relationships in the community, and the potential of spiritual development through relationship or marriage has mostly been forgotten. Whitaker probably states it best when he says, "The greatest ordeal in life is marriage - it is the central focus for enlightenment and the natural therapeutic process in the culture."
We have found, through our work with couples, that the unconscious fit, that often manifests itself in a desperate power struggle, contains all the information the couple needs to guide them onto the path that the relationship is impelling and challenging them to take. However, in order to tolerate staying with the very painful and powerful feelings evoked from the past, there needs to be a vessel strong and safe enough to hold and contain the chaos generated. In contrast to individual therapy, working with these dynamics can be particularly valuable in speeding up the therapy process, because the negative transference that can take months or years to develop, between therapist and client, is already fully active between the partners in a couple. But there is more to it than that.
When we hold an archetypal and spiritual perspective, we can dream into, and see beyond, the literal story and the presenting problem of the individuals involved. If we can be open and non judgemental about the apparently negative forces and behaviours that are being expressed, and paradoxically go deeper into them, the power of the relationship can be harnessed to destroy what has to die and give life to what needs to grow, then the relationship itself begins to heal the individuals, and take them beyond their own ego desires.
"The mad parts of sane people are always dangerous: but if recognised and their power acknowledged, they are potentially healing. Mad areas continually confront us with the borders and limitations of ourselves and our knowledge," observes Scwartz-Salant " and they cause us to reflect and re-frame our attitudes over and over again. As we accept such areas, we do not necessarily solve the problems within our own relationships; instead we transform ourselves and our relationships".